I'm going to hell

Tonight, my sister is being confirmed into the Catholic Church. It's this big hoopdedoo that officially makes someone an adult Catholic. And I am being forced to attend.

The conversation with my mother went something like, "You have to go to Cait's thing on Saturday."
"What thing?"
"Her confirmation. It's during the 4 o'clock mass."
"I've already gone to church twice this year. Lay off me."
"Weren't they both funerals?"

So I have to sit in church for two hours (officailly the longest I've been out of my house since Monday) and try not to fall asleep or throw things. I have very bad church manners. I'm pretty sure that was a large part of why my mom allowed me to start sleeping in on Sundays.

So, I asked if my dad is going too, so I have someone to heckle everyone with.

"You will NOT heckle Church."

And here I flash back to my sister's graduation from 8th grade (in the same church) where one of the teachers passed out halfway through he procession into the church and caused a 20 minute delay. No one knew why there was a delay, though, because she passed out in the vestibule and everyone was being respectful and facing forwards. After 3 minutes without anyone coming down the aisle, my dad and I started. I don't remember what was said, but it as really hot in there and we are similar in disposition. It went on until we were finally able to leave the dumb thing and go out for dinner (which ended up being the largest icecream sundaes in the world.)

I hate going to events at this church.

To make it worse, there is a girl I used to be friends with who will be there. She's one of those people who, no matter how hard I try to avoid her, will not get out of my life. Most recently, she sent me an invitation to her babyshower. Her second Baby shower. For the second child she is having in her short 22 years on this earth. I got suckered into going to the first one because I went to driving school with one of our mutual friends (who I no longer talk to and neither does she) who ratted me out.

I thought I was home free for this one, because a piece of paper is just that. You can ignore a piece of paper. And then Cait says to me in the car on Wednesday (or Thursday) "[Girl I wish would disappear] is making her confirmation with me."

I had a cool Ethan at the steering wheel. And now I'm going to end up at this babyshower that I don't want to go to because a) I hate baby showers (all the stupid games and fawning and AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGgg) and/or b)I would rather not rekindle any facade of friendship with this girl. We stopped being friends SEVEN years ago on a not so good note and I have never called her. Not once.
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Fuck's sake, Ann Marie, leave me alone