I promise I'm not a slut. And I am really screwed up. Because I hooked up with this kid and he's great and all, but I don't think I can do it anymore.
I can't hook up with him because I'm starting to like him. Which in my mind is completely unacceptable. I'm good at the separation of lust and like. In fact, I've hooked up with people I really don't like, even as human beings, never mind as the future father of my children. If I had taken a header for every guy who got me off, I'd be such a mess right now, I'd probably be married with 2ish kids and a husband who regularly uses me as a punching bag. Because I never would have left my first solid boyfriend.
I don't like him because he gets me off. I like him because he says he's an asshole and isn't really. And he knows something about everything and is always right, but not obnoxious about it. And he can make jokes about himself. And I don't mind sleeping next to him. The biggest reason is sexual... Of course. This kid can be rough with me and controlling and I never once feel like I need to worry about whether or not I'm going to wake up with a pillow over my face or tied up without my saying , "Sure, pal. Go for it."
I would actually let him tie me up.
Therefore, I can't hang out with him anymore, because our torches are not aligned.
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