Bang your head.

I am fighting with a dress.

I can't make the waistline work.

Occasionally, I have those Ally McBeal moments where I'm in a completely normal situation and I imagine something vivid and usually violent. Like today, there was a fist fight in my brain. No details, but I didn't win the fight. But my opponent got the shit kicked out of them. So I'll be working on my right hook and trying to keep the heinous anxiety dreams at bay, all while I fight to the death with my newest sewing project and get a new job.


to quote Shute, "Use a wooden stake just to be sure."


summation: I thought we were all adults around here. There is elevator music in Erin land.

Number 3

when we got back form octoberfest, Shute's car had been towed. Through a strange series of events, we eventually ended up at the tow place. One guy had to bring shute to the atm, which left me witht eh burly one for about 30 minutes discussing the finer points of how to tell if a license is fake (which I had learned at cheerleaders shortly before my surgery). Before leaving, the second tow truck driver suggested I bring the car forward. There was one quip about my blatant intoxication.

how does one have 23 1/2 hour towing?

proof that, once upon a time, i was smart and knew what i was talking about.

THe ERin School for better writing:
Don't proceed to do it, just do it.

Due to the fact that can be substituted with because.

Immensely is spelled as such, not emencially.

Nor does not have an apostrophe in it, nor did it ever.

If the set me and blank is the subject of the verb, it is blank and I, and if it is the direct object it is blank and me.

Some passive verbs just don't make sense. I.E."There is a lot of anger that has
formed inside me towards the situation."

Using the above example, that is not necessary in many sentences. It just sounds
bad.

Try to avoid subjecting you loved ones to the crappy poetry you think is a great
metaphor for life. Avoid this especially if the meaning of metaphor isn't as
good as you think.

If you're addressing someone directly, it is customary to separate the name from the
rest of the sentence with commas.

NO one wants long drawn out tales of your tragic life that is only tragic because you are an idiot and do things that are self destructive.

********

Thank you Matthew and your need to bring up past hosebeastness. But in all fairnes, that girl deserves to be shot....

for more erin fun...

Nothing really rocks, nothing really rolls, and nothing ever worth the cost.

And coming out of bad week #542...


top 5 Worse weeks than the last one:

5. Aug 15-22 99 (the first time I got threatened at knifepoint)
4. Aug 11-18 05 (It's referenced previously)
3. mid march 98 (hello, therapy)
2. Feb 23-Mar 1 04 (what are they going to do, fire me?)
1. Feb 4-11 05 (3 er trips)


I wish I were in a 12 step so I could go through that step that's all about making amends. But I don't want it for the right reasons. I want it in the kick in the teeth way.

I am however not as vindictive as people assume. I'm a very leave it and go girl. And, man does that word vindictive get tossed around incorrectly. Vindictive is lighting your shit on fire while moving out. Vindictive is fucking your brother and mailing you a tape. Neither of which I'd do. I'm slightly more same than that.


and in other news: my computer is broken and there is a fair chance I will get fired or quit my job by the end of the week. All I want is a job that uses my skills. Employers should like girls with skills...

Ever look around and wonder how this is your life?

only every day.







more pictures to follow, but that was the beginning of the cray 2 week stratch and the end of it. Lot's happened between points a and b. the picture tell the story.

On another note:


Top 5 sunday night banana bread candle movies:

5. Showgirls
4. brahm Stoker's Dracula
3. Freaks
2. Hudsucker Proxy
1. Eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

You're just a notch in my bedpost.

Another strange weekend under the belt.

Spent friday night drinking top shelf long island's at geroges house. They made me play on the 360. There was a fight. Micheal thinks he can fix my glasses for me.

OH! and that's another thing. My ass claimed its 4th pair of my glasses friday, but mostly because i'm stupid. Right now they're geek taped together over the bridge of the nose.

Saturday was a saturday. Cheerleaders blew. The bathroom was gross. Courtney is over calculator boy (thankfully). No one got drunk. we went back to tara's house and watched but I'm a cheerleader. I fell alseep. And then mike woke me up and i was confused because i had a blanket on me. Vega howled a teh door for approximately 8 years. Poop is climbing the ranks steadily.

We went to gloria's today with Matthew and then watched office space. He and Mike bonded. tara and i laughed at them. all in all, it was cute.

I start my new schedule tomorrow. i'm so excited for real dinner.

Next weekend: Tara's birthday.
Pictures, awkwardness, record breaking? Who knows.

It rhymes, wanna fight about it?

Apparently i excel in the world of Cable Troublshooting.

I'm sure the working 13 hour days doesn't hurt it at all.

but i do get an hour and a half off on friday to go out to lunch to celebrate my postition in the top 5% of performers statistic wise.

And, honestly, it's nice to have people's primary rspose to me be that i'm nice and helpful and they want to tell my managers.

My dad always said if you can fake sincerity, you're golden.

BIte me to see if I'm pure.

i finally convinced another person that my life is ridiculous. This landmark occasion occured on the ride to Newbury Comics with Mike poop today. without getting deep into the story, suffice it to say, the weirdness of the weekend peaked somewhere in a bathroom.





next weekend: sheena's birthday. Pudding pops. More Mike Poop adventures. lots of awkwardness, and if all goes according to plan, my tricornered hat.

i went to the movies, it was rated ARRRRRR

brief synopsis:

New year's=amazing. I had the most gratifying midnight of my life.



work week: not so fabulous. busy and cloaustrophobic.

BBQ night: DELICIOUS!

Last night: Fuck show. best 3 hours of sleep i've ever had.



today: gloria's and Matthew

I don't remember which it is, but David Sedaris wrote an essay about having ocd as a child. he talks about having to lick the lightswitch plates and tap himself on the forehead with his shoe.

I think my kitten has ocd. He is constantly licking things. And i am aware cats lick things as part of their nature, but it's things like the wall in the living room, the lining of my jacket and cardboard boxes. And legs. he loves to lick legs.

I also just watched him jump on and off f the back of the chair next to the computer 4 times before he ran away, stopping to lick the side of caitlin's ginormous rubbermaid storage trunk.

the cat's got problems.