If god didn't want me to say it...

He picked the wrong fucking way to reaffirm it. I do not handle uncomfortable dreams well.

Last Words
Greatest Hits.

"I was just calling to confirm with you that I will not be going away with you this weekend."
[response: "How can you confirm something you never told me to begin with?"]

"You don't understand that I Couldn't care less about you right now, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You have no right. Thanks for nothing."
[response a: "Is that for me?"
Response b: "If you feel the need to tell people things I say, make sure their things I said."]

"Thank you for being a vindictive cunt to the bitter fucking end."
[response: laughter.]


Ugh. Have a lovely night.

God just intervened in my blog posting process. He said, "You moron, why would you post that? I thought I wired you better than that."

I guess god is right. Stupid omnipotence.

Composion:

n. Composition and Revision.

I learned something today, and while I realize that you learn something new every day, today was different because I actually went in my head, "Wow, I just learned something and I will apply it in my later life."

PORTMANTEAU WORDS: the words that are made by cramming together two other words

i.e. my nemeses: celebutante, trashionplate, glitterati, etc.

Congratulations, Perry, you officially taught me my first real thing in college and possible academic life. You will be seeing all of those phrases in my paper.


I got a really disturbing IM today, that wasn't disturbing in it's message alone, but in how it made me feel. The long and short of it is that I'm really messed up when it comes to the boys (thank you, Benjamin W.C. Wood).

I also just hit an amazingly low point in that my favorite band in the world had it's first song in a commercial EVER... it is a sad day for Fountains of Wayne. It's ok, though, because it isn't there best song, albeit it is their most popular. And it was Dr. Pepper, which I like. And I wasn't upset when their "hat and feet" was in two weeks notice for a couple of seconds.


Also, why don't you people leave me comments? I KNOW SOMEONE READS THIS AND I HAVE AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX!

Motion is a noun.

I spent the weekend in Boston for the Harvard National Model United Nations Conference. A few highlights:

Tara and Aaron Shute came to visit on Saturday night. It was a lot of fun. We went to the Tam, which as it turns out is a great edge-of-dive bar, where we met some INCREDIBLE kids from NH/ Berkley, chick named Amy with an amazing jacket and exceptional hair and a regular who knew everything about the bar, even why there was no door on the stall in the men's bathroom. Aaron Shute went home with SIX girls... Tara and I went back to the hotel and accidentally woke up Amy Greenwood. Shortly after returning, I got sick and we decided it was a good idea to sleep in the bathroom. Tara spent the night in the bathtub. I woke up at about 3:30 under the sink and freezing my ass off. Aaron Shute came back and we all slept. We'll strategically omit the unpleasantness from the next morning, but thank you, Katey for sticking up for me.

My homeboys from Mongolia, Myanmar (a country I did not know existed until this weekend)Malaysia, and Germany. Also, the invasion and conquer of Singapore, newly renamed "Disney World, Malaysia."

Discussing the merits of Phantom the movie with Gokul, the A.D. of my committee. He's wonderful. It was great.

The discovery that I can ROCK an eyepatch and legwarmers as business wear. This is very reassuring mostly because I have very little doubt in my mind I will accidentally put a mascara wand through my eye at some point.

Jennifer Ritter is awesome.

Best Thai food ever. I'm pretty sure I'm eating for two: me and my tapeworm. I consumed so much rice and soysauce, I shouldn't have had room for the Chicken and Asparagus Malaysian style that I snarfed like it was my job. Or the large quantity of cheesecake or the entire pizza from CPK or the poptarts, goldfish, burgers, etc. I love food.

Surviving taking the train by myself for the first time and having Matt pick me up and the subsequent hang time. We went to Waldenbooks and Panera and discussed morality, Fantastic Max, and the merits of putting my thumbs through a girl's eyes.

All in all, a good show.

Another day, another ER.

I had strep throat, which I'm pretty sure I got from Scott. I went to the doctor, who gave me GINORMOUS pills of Amoxicillan. After a few days, my throat was only getting worse and I couldn't swallow, so I went back to the doctor, who then told me I should have gone to the ER instead of just keeping a spit cup next to me. They changed me over to even larger pills of augmenten. The Augmenten worked and my strep started to go away. I was only drooling on myself minimally.

Friday night, I went out to the Uptown Tavern with Tara to see one of her friend's band play. It was great. He came to hang out afterwards and I slept on the pull out couch in the living room.

Woke up Saturday morning and my face felt puffy. I went into the bathroom and my face, chest and upper arms were covered in hives. I had a minor melt down and almost freaked out. Tara woke up Dan and we all went to the ER. Drugs were administered and the swelling went down and the itching stopped.

Sunday morning, I woke up looking like that crazy plastic surgery pornstar (the one with the EEE cup size, huge lips and Betty Page hair, most recently seen on Insomniac with Dave Attel). My lips were swollen so much that my lip ring was cutting into them and when I took out my nosering, the hole shut really tight. I unpuffed a little and went to work. The hives had turned into a rash and covered my entire body, including the soles of my feet and palms of my hands.

After work, I went to the ER at Lahey Clinic and the man gave me more benadryl, which wasn't working to begin with. I hated him.

Monday, I started my internship, went to work and started to itch. A lot. I ended up driving to my mother's house in the wee hours of the morning and we went back to the ER and they gave me medicine for the itching finally.

So, I was kind of crabby for most of the last couple of weeks. And I can finally sit for longer than 30 seconds without wanting to tear off my skin.

I am a beast. Go see Hitch, it was funny.

A note on medication:

I have strep throat for the first time in my life. I went to the doctor and she gave me amoxicillan to get rid of it. I picked up the pills at CVS and looked at them. THEY ARE GINORMOUS. Why would they give someone who can barely swallow with nothing in her mouth a pill that looks like it should be a suppository. On top of that, I started my other new medication which is larger pills. What the crap.

Out of Blushi's livejournal.

Dearest Lindsay Lohan,

For the love of all that is good in this world, Please stop making music!!! Your pop/rock wannabe music is pathetic and quite frankly, you don't even have a good voice. You are just another over exposed celebrity who thinks that pictures in a magazine = talent... They don't...

And while I do admit that I was at one point a fan of yours, that all changed when I saw Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen... Who told you that movie was a good Idea?... Probably the same person who told Michael and Lisa-Marie that their marriage would last...

You have been just one disappoinment after another ever since. Hanging out with the Hilton's, the underage drinking, and that God-Forsaken Love affair with Fes... what do you think Denis Quaid would have to say about all this?

I was willing to give you one last chance to redeem yourself... so I bought "Speak" and I must say that I want my $15.95 back...Your music is unbearable... I couldn't even listen to the whole album before throwing it out the window... Literally! No one thought it was a good idea when Hilary made an album... what made you think they would when you did?

Stick to playing twins!

Sincerely,

Jennifer Leigh Blushi





I concur.

The Life Aquatic and Poking fun at those who cannot defend themselves.

At the suggestion of Ian, I went to see "The life Aquatic with Steve Zissou." It was pretty dece. I laughed quite a bit. I've found that I laugh really loud, mostly at inappropriate times and I think it came to a head when I started hanging out with Tara, who also laughs loudly whenever the mood takes her. Two guys walked into the movies close enough to showtime that it seemed like we would have a private showing and I glared at them. It was sort of an automatic response to the intrusion on our privacy. And the second guy saw me glaring and Just said, "Hi." It threw me off.

I used to have a best friend (and all this nonsense came up because I finally saw her for the first time in three months Thursday.) She would come up with really weird questions when she was stoned. One night, she looked at me and asked if I would jump in front of a bullet for her.

"Name, I'm pretty sure if someone were going to shoot you, the next bullet would have my name on it. There wouldn't be a point."

Another time we were in the drive-thru at the 4 a.m. Wendy's and it came up about my (ahem) aggressive driving and how there is a very high probablility that I will die from a bullet in the head sent my way in someone's fit of road rage. She told me that if that happened, she would probably just try to scoop my brains back into my head.

So I guess the point of that was don't do drugs...

But now every time I talk to Tara she asks something about a bullet and I laugh.

God, I sound of ill repute...

I promise I'm not a slut. And I am really screwed up. Because I hooked up with this kid and he's great and all, but I don't think I can do it anymore.

I can't hook up with him because I'm starting to like him. Which in my mind is completely unacceptable. I'm good at the separation of lust and like. In fact, I've hooked up with people I really don't like, even as human beings, never mind as the future father of my children. If I had taken a header for every guy who got me off, I'd be such a mess right now, I'd probably be married with 2ish kids and a husband who regularly uses me as a punching bag. Because I never would have left my first solid boyfriend.

I don't like him because he gets me off. I like him because he says he's an asshole and isn't really. And he knows something about everything and is always right, but not obnoxious about it. And he can make jokes about himself. And I don't mind sleeping next to him. The biggest reason is sexual... Of course. This kid can be rough with me and controlling and I never once feel like I need to worry about whether or not I'm going to wake up with a pillow over my face or tied up without my saying , "Sure, pal. Go for it."

I would actually let him tie me up.

Therefore, I can't hang out with him anymore, because our torches are not aligned.

Coitus and last names

"Her last name is worth 3 grand. And free rent on one of my properties."

We were playing Monopoly on new years day. New year's Eve was a boisterous night and I was seated at my best friend's kitchen table playing the game of ultimate tycoonery. At the table are Matt and Tara, sitting across from me, and Scott. Scott is winning the game by a long shot and it somehow comes up that Scott has a 2:8 ratio of remembering the names of girls that he's hooked up. He looks over at me and across the table to Tara (his best friend) and says, "Um. 1 to 8."

She badgered him for a few minutes and I just looked at him and said, "I know your last name."

And I did. I also told him that I new everyone of my hookups last names. And that he's a wretched person (I was kidding on the last part. We had only known each other about 26 hours, there were people who knew me for months before knowing my name was anything but Hey.) And then he offered to buy my name from Matt. It started off at a grand and steadily increased until the two were playing phonetic hangman and Matt was trying to coax Scott into figuring out the options for a hard z sound. At the one arm point, he got it.

The next day I was thinking about it and I realized that I'm a dirty fucking liar. I'm 4:1. I didn't remember one's last name. It made me start to wonder why it matters to begin with. All the absence of a last name is an assurance that you won't be looking them up in the phonebook anytime soon. And if you aren't really friends (or even just casual acquaintances) why cares?

Apparently I do, I did a call around and racked my brain and finally, after about 3 days, remembered it. Good for me. I'm five for 5.