Beastly.

I am getting sick again. I can feel it. I hope it is just allergies and not a sneaky recurring bout of Strep.

However, if it is the latter, it's the second time I will have gotten sick from Scott.

Heretofore, I doubt I will be sharing beverages, or anything else that touches the mouth, with him. I vaguely remember him saying something about his uvula bothering him on Friday night.

And as for Friday? It was an assload of fun (like 2 grand worth). The best moment was the Ian/Johnny Exchange:

Johnny was drunk by approximately 10. Really drunk. He started to wrestle Tara, and she was losing, so I jumped in and then both of us were losing. I thought the skirmish was over, but in the living room, Johnny picked up Tara over his shoulders in some move I don't remember the name of and tossed her on the couch. Scott flipped out because he harbors notions of being her big brother. About 15 minutes later, just about everyone is in the kitchen and Johnny is going through a flagellation routine. He says, "Somebody just slap me in the face."

Ian walks through the entryway tot the kitchen, glass of wine in hand, and asks, "Well, can I hit you?" Johnny told him ok. Ian put his glass down on the table Turns back to Johnny, winds up and wails him in the face. Johnny fell off his chair from the force. Ian was an instant hit.

I had a "not my proudest moment" of Friday: I got jealous about a boy that doesn't matter and almost fought a girl I thought was chill. Like bottled fighting. It was not pretty. Aaron Shute was the only witness to the whole psycho episode. For a split second, I was the girl that I wonder where they come from. It was not a credit to my gender of mental stability.

I could go at any time...

This is not my beautiful house

Tara and I met some Character's at the bars last night.

I have never enjoyed Monty Python quotes so much in my life. Jimmie was amazing. I will be hanging out with him again.

There were 2 guys last night who got 2 out of 3 for the Erin Meets her Soulmate questions.

And now we're going out to see them again. This meeting people in bars thing is interesting.

The RHSC has officially been renamed "The Popemobile" thanks to Tara.

I do not, however, have bullet proof glass in my car, so no shooting at me.

Like a sinner before the gates of heaven....

My car died. MY car. so now i have a different car. It's an 87 Chevy Nova--light blue. That use to be owned by a priest. And until a week ago, it had an AM dial radio and no clock. NO CLOCK!!!

So, I've named it the redheaded Step Child, because i will never EVER love it as much as my car, which will always be my car.

Bonuses of the RHSC: I can fit in the trunk. It has a functioning CD player. It's clean. It runs. It does not feel like the wheel is going to fall off.

Cons of the RHSC: NO ARMRESTS! the fabric on the ceiling is coming down. I cannot nap in the back seat. It was owned by a man of god. JESUS originally paid for the car.

Everyone keeps going, "oh you got a new car," which garners them a glare and sometimes a kick.




I went for a walk with Aaron Shute last night. he made cinnamon buns and then we went to Matt's and played hold 'em. I pissed Matt off because I was betting weird and he folded a winning hand on a decent size pot. I told him i was just fucking with him, so he didn't take me very seriously after that. It doesn't matter, i was sitting next to the box with the chips in it any ways.



I have two automatic get in my pants triggers: boys who like Futurama more than Family Guy and straight men who can tap-dance, ala Gene Kelly. At lunch yesterday with Matt, Aaron, Ian, Roger and Emily, I asked Roger what he would do with the portion of his brain that is wasted on movie quotes. Aaron Shute said that we only use a small portion of our brains any ways, so it doesn't matter, which was the same answer Matt had given me previously. Roger's response was learn how to tap-dance.

I laughed a lot.

A WHOLE REAL lot.

Back in the saddle

It's been a really crappy month. I'm pretty sure everyone has the gist of it, so onto the wonderful.

DisneyWorld (The happiest place on Earth)
There aren't really any good ways to summarize in a way that is coherent and readable, so Tara and I went to Disney for vacation. We drank, danced, and went on rides. It was great.


Now my allegory on escalation.

We were in the pool Saturday night after going out to 8TRAXX on Pleasure Island. I was minding my own business for the first time in my life and floating around the pool when Scott came up and splashed me in the face. I splashed back. Splash war lasted a decent amount of time. Tara found a ball on the side of the pool (one of the Koosh water absorbent ones)and Scott was throwing it around and eventually whipped it at me. We threw the ball at eachother for some time until he whipped it at my head and hit me IN MY EYE. (actually in my eye, because I was dodging the ball and started to dive and it hit me higher than anticipated.) I crumpled in the water with my face covered screaming. When I came up he was coming over to make sure I was ok. Tara warned him to keep his distance. He didn't and I swung. He was just out of reach. Right before we got out of the pool, I saw him sidling over and said, "Scott, please get the fuck away from me." he didn't, even though I asked more than once. He put his arm around my shoulder and I a asked him again. He didn't comply so I bit him in the upper inner arm. I broke the skin. He put two fingers under my chin and pushed up as far as possible, saying I was lucky he didn't put his thumbs in my eyes.

The next day (drink around the world day at Epcot) he bought a samurai sword. There were some hits exchanged and now my knuckles are bruised.


So, you really could put an eye out by splashing and everything good and fun leaves marks.


and, Tara, you seem to have lost your apple.

Drunk dialing and the stages of anger

Until I was reminded by Kevin today, I had completely forgotten that we mapped out the Erin Stages of Anger in high school. We were having a discussion about my newest girly issue (and let me tell you: the are abounding as of late) and he asked if I had cried yet...

And I laughed hysterically because I completely forgotten about it.

The joke with my friends in highschool was that if they ever saw me crying, they were to run as fast as their adolescent feet could carry them and dive into a bathtub to avoid the explosion and hope that the light above them didn't cut them when it fell (I watched the rock last night). Assuming you haven't known me very long, chances are you haven't seen it get that far. For your safety:

1.annoyance
2.sarcastic bitchiness
3.irritation
4.pissed off
5.fury
6.shock
7.incredulity
8.frustration
9.tears
10. goes either way: hostile physical reaction (hitting, screaming, biting) or complete despondency.

I haven't been that angry enough to know which one I prefer. I think the hitting is better because it's a short burst and gets it all out of my system. The despondency lives on for days, and a couple of times it lasted a few weeks.


Also, someone was telling me how they ought to put breathalizers on cell phones (they may have been relating the work of a stand-up comic). THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH MY FRIENDS! No matter who is the most sober, we always end up allowing at least 4 drunken phone calls to happen. It's like, "Hey, can I have my phone?" "Why?" "I want to call ______." "NO!!!" "I mean I want to check my messages..." "Oh, ok."

FunkMaster Flex says, "DON'T (dddon't don't) DO IT (bbbbbbbbaabyyy baby)"

apples to apples

Saturday was a mess. A good fun mess, but a mess nonetheless. Crazy friends. crazy booze. crazy Game. Just plain crazy.

I won't overshare though, because my readership consists soley of Tara, who was there, and my Dad, who doesn't wan tto know, i'm sure.

but it was crazy.

MY DAD IS GREAT!!!

happy now?

The week has not gotten better. It's hitting a plateau. Last night was heinous weather and it took eternity to get to Tara's house. I was late for lunch with Jay, but we went and it was good. I offended an old man for sport.

I'm excited for Saturday, the Apples to Apples tourney. Paul will be there, as will good Ian and possibly Jay. There won't be any Aaron Shute, but he'll hopefully be getting former love of life tail. And if all goes according to plan, Scott will be the only one (to the best of my knowledge) who hasn't.

Vega and I took a nap today, but you have no idea how difficult it is to sleep on a couch with a pug. They are a) the most inconsiderate small animals, space wise, b) twitch a lot in their sleep, and c) are physically constructed to snore louder than Leatherface's Chainsaw. But she was warm and snuggly, so I guess it will be ok once the rash goes away. (I'm allergic to dogs).

I need another nap.

Bulletin:

If this week does not stop sucking by tomorrow, I'm giving up.


I'm not exactly sure what constitutes giving up, but I will be celebrating either my continual plugging away or my surrender on Saturday. Paul may be there.