At the suggestion of Ian, I went to see "The life Aquatic with Steve Zissou." It was pretty dece. I laughed quite a bit. I've found that I laugh really loud, mostly at inappropriate times and I think it came to a head when I started hanging out with Tara, who also laughs loudly whenever the mood takes her. Two guys walked into the movies close enough to showtime that it seemed like we would have a private showing and I glared at them. It was sort of an automatic response to the intrusion on our privacy. And the second guy saw me glaring and Just said, "Hi." It threw me off.
I used to have a best friend (and all this nonsense came up because I finally saw her for the first time in three months Thursday.) She would come up with really weird questions when she was stoned. One night, she looked at me and asked if I would jump in front of a bullet for her.
"Name, I'm pretty sure if someone were going to shoot you, the next bullet would have my name on it. There wouldn't be a point."
Another time we were in the drive-thru at the 4 a.m. Wendy's and it came up about my (ahem) aggressive driving and how there is a very high probablility that I will die from a bullet in the head sent my way in someone's fit of road rage. She told me that if that happened, she would probably just try to scoop my brains back into my head.
So I guess the point of that was don't do drugs...
But now every time I talk to Tara she asks something about a bullet and I laugh.
17 January 2005
God, I sound of ill repute...
I promise I'm not a slut. And I am really screwed up. Because I hooked up with this kid and he's great and all, but I don't think I can do it anymore.
I can't hook up with him because I'm starting to like him. Which in my mind is completely unacceptable. I'm good at the separation of lust and like. In fact, I've hooked up with people I really don't like, even as human beings, never mind as the future father of my children. If I had taken a header for every guy who got me off, I'd be such a mess right now, I'd probably be married with 2ish kids and a husband who regularly uses me as a punching bag. Because I never would have left my first solid boyfriend.
I don't like him because he gets me off. I like him because he says he's an asshole and isn't really. And he knows something about everything and is always right, but not obnoxious about it. And he can make jokes about himself. And I don't mind sleeping next to him. The biggest reason is sexual... Of course. This kid can be rough with me and controlling and I never once feel like I need to worry about whether or not I'm going to wake up with a pillow over my face or tied up without my saying , "Sure, pal. Go for it."
I would actually let him tie me up.
Therefore, I can't hang out with him anymore, because our torches are not aligned.
I can't hook up with him because I'm starting to like him. Which in my mind is completely unacceptable. I'm good at the separation of lust and like. In fact, I've hooked up with people I really don't like, even as human beings, never mind as the future father of my children. If I had taken a header for every guy who got me off, I'd be such a mess right now, I'd probably be married with 2ish kids and a husband who regularly uses me as a punching bag. Because I never would have left my first solid boyfriend.
I don't like him because he gets me off. I like him because he says he's an asshole and isn't really. And he knows something about everything and is always right, but not obnoxious about it. And he can make jokes about himself. And I don't mind sleeping next to him. The biggest reason is sexual... Of course. This kid can be rough with me and controlling and I never once feel like I need to worry about whether or not I'm going to wake up with a pillow over my face or tied up without my saying , "Sure, pal. Go for it."
I would actually let him tie me up.
Therefore, I can't hang out with him anymore, because our torches are not aligned.
10 January 2005
Coitus and last names
"Her last name is worth 3 grand. And free rent on one of my properties."
We were playing Monopoly on new years day. New year's Eve was a boisterous night and I was seated at my best friend's kitchen table playing the game of ultimate tycoonery. At the table are Matt and Tara, sitting across from me, and Scott. Scott is winning the game by a long shot and it somehow comes up that Scott has a 2:8 ratio of remembering the names of girls that he's hooked up. He looks over at me and across the table to Tara (his best friend) and says, "Um. 1 to 8."
She badgered him for a few minutes and I just looked at him and said, "I know your last name."
And I did. I also told him that I new everyone of my hookups last names. And that he's a wretched person (I was kidding on the last part. We had only known each other about 26 hours, there were people who knew me for months before knowing my name was anything but Hey.) And then he offered to buy my name from Matt. It started off at a grand and steadily increased until the two were playing phonetic hangman and Matt was trying to coax Scott into figuring out the options for a hard z sound. At the one arm point, he got it.
The next day I was thinking about it and I realized that I'm a dirty fucking liar. I'm 4:1. I didn't remember one's last name. It made me start to wonder why it matters to begin with. All the absence of a last name is an assurance that you won't be looking them up in the phonebook anytime soon. And if you aren't really friends (or even just casual acquaintances) why cares?
Apparently I do, I did a call around and racked my brain and finally, after about 3 days, remembered it. Good for me. I'm five for 5.
We were playing Monopoly on new years day. New year's Eve was a boisterous night and I was seated at my best friend's kitchen table playing the game of ultimate tycoonery. At the table are Matt and Tara, sitting across from me, and Scott. Scott is winning the game by a long shot and it somehow comes up that Scott has a 2:8 ratio of remembering the names of girls that he's hooked up. He looks over at me and across the table to Tara (his best friend) and says, "Um. 1 to 8."
She badgered him for a few minutes and I just looked at him and said, "I know your last name."
And I did. I also told him that I new everyone of my hookups last names. And that he's a wretched person (I was kidding on the last part. We had only known each other about 26 hours, there were people who knew me for months before knowing my name was anything but Hey.) And then he offered to buy my name from Matt. It started off at a grand and steadily increased until the two were playing phonetic hangman and Matt was trying to coax Scott into figuring out the options for a hard z sound. At the one arm point, he got it.
The next day I was thinking about it and I realized that I'm a dirty fucking liar. I'm 4:1. I didn't remember one's last name. It made me start to wonder why it matters to begin with. All the absence of a last name is an assurance that you won't be looking them up in the phonebook anytime soon. And if you aren't really friends (or even just casual acquaintances) why cares?
Apparently I do, I did a call around and racked my brain and finally, after about 3 days, remembered it. Good for me. I'm five for 5.
03 January 2005
Falling angels.
One of my friends wished me sweet dreams before I went to sleep last night and I said, "Oh, they will be."
The first one was a weird meshing of work, Tara's new Year's Eve Party and The movie Saw. That was an unpleasant wake up. All I remember vividly is that stupid doll (the one where the concept meeting was "ok guys, I need you to think of the scariest thing ever and then make it into a doll.") watching me and my friend as we tried to escape. And thwarting us. He was always thwarting us.
The second one was the breakup with my beast friend (not the former one, the oldest one from college) because he was being extremely inconsiderate. The uncomfort of that situation was only surpassed by walking out the front door to my apartment and seeing people face diving onto the pavement from 4 story buildings wearing blue and pink angel wings. All I wanted to do was drive home for a funeral (which I ended up not doing today) and I ended up having to flip a bitch on Lafayette street to avoid hitting the red winged person flattened four feet in front of my car. I ended up going to a play (not the funeral) with another kid and running into the friend there and htere were issues and I woke up.
The only time I ever fully capture the feeling of my dreams is when their really bad anxiety dreams. It sucks. I can't remember the happy fluffy sleep through the night rem cycles. Only the white-knuckled, cold sweat, kick-off-the-blankets dreams for me!
Sometimes I wish I didn't dream at all.
The first one was a weird meshing of work, Tara's new Year's Eve Party and The movie Saw. That was an unpleasant wake up. All I remember vividly is that stupid doll (the one where the concept meeting was "ok guys, I need you to think of the scariest thing ever and then make it into a doll.") watching me and my friend as we tried to escape. And thwarting us. He was always thwarting us.
The second one was the breakup with my beast friend (not the former one, the oldest one from college) because he was being extremely inconsiderate. The uncomfort of that situation was only surpassed by walking out the front door to my apartment and seeing people face diving onto the pavement from 4 story buildings wearing blue and pink angel wings. All I wanted to do was drive home for a funeral (which I ended up not doing today) and I ended up having to flip a bitch on Lafayette street to avoid hitting the red winged person flattened four feet in front of my car. I ended up going to a play (not the funeral) with another kid and running into the friend there and htere were issues and I woke up.
The only time I ever fully capture the feeling of my dreams is when their really bad anxiety dreams. It sucks. I can't remember the happy fluffy sleep through the night rem cycles. Only the white-knuckled, cold sweat, kick-off-the-blankets dreams for me!
Sometimes I wish I didn't dream at all.
My life is a book. This book.
So, I'm living my favorite novel in the college English major way.
The book is The Cigarette Girl by Carol Wolper. There is a quote from it that totally applies to my life (and Tara's) at the moment. It answers the typical why am I headed down this particular stairwell with this particular guy right now questions we all face sometimes, especially after a night of drinking. The answer is, "Because sex with a smart, funny, attractive guy who comes highly recommended, knows a lot of the same people you do, but is still a stranger...Is hot."
It is. That's the book my Tattoo comes from. As does my screenname. And now a portion of my life.
New years was pretty fun. Tara and I traded best friends for the night. "For conversation" according to Kevin.
Yeah, so this:
The book is The Cigarette Girl by Carol Wolper. There is a quote from it that totally applies to my life (and Tara's) at the moment. It answers the typical why am I headed down this particular stairwell with this particular guy right now questions we all face sometimes, especially after a night of drinking. The answer is, "Because sex with a smart, funny, attractive guy who comes highly recommended, knows a lot of the same people you do, but is still a stranger...Is hot."
It is. That's the book my Tattoo comes from. As does my screenname. And now a portion of my life.
New years was pretty fun. Tara and I traded best friends for the night. "For conversation" according to Kevin.
Yeah, so this:
| I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness |
 You played it cheesy and campy in 2004, but you know how to rock out. |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/2004hitquiz.html">What 2004 Hit Song Are You?
20 December 2004
xmas wishes... or something
Yesterday was the traditional Basler family xmas dinner. I got time off of work to go. I like my family, they are hilarious. there's great food involved, and, being the oldest of the grandkids, i no longer have to corale the small children because there are several other kids old enough to do it. There is however, a strange rush of power when i do choose to get involved and just have to say "[name], stop kicking your brother and get off the floor," and have them freeze in terror and do what i say. I told one of the medium aged kids that if i heard him scream "presents" at one more person before actually giving them a hug or saying hello, i was going to pinch him so hard he cried. He listened and i did not have to pinch him, because he knew i would do it.
I enjoy time with my family because i am a product of my environment.
Fun times at my Aunt Ellen's house were overshadowed by my grandmother.
So, i am the oldest grandchild. My father has 5 brothers and sisters, resulting in 14 grandkids and one spoiled dog all together. My aunt Marianne passes out presents from my grandmother because she has been brought to the hospital against her will. Caitlin and i are sitting on the couch joking around about how we're too old to get gifts because our grandmother forgets our birthday's and such. Marianne tosses a card to Cait and she moves on to the next bag. Caitlin looks at me. My face drops. She open her card and in it is $20 and a christmas ornament with a picture of her in it taken the hospital after her birth. I couldn't believe my gadma had forgotten me again. I nearly lost it in the living room. I got up and ran into the bathroom and started sobbing uncontolably.
It's not that i didn't get a present. I couldn't care less about 20 bucks. THe ornament was cute, but unnecessary to my mental health. It was that i had been overlooked. I was the only one.
I go back to the living room after calming down, ask cait if i look ok and watch the little kids. Marianne is passing out the last of the gifts to the adults from my Grandma. They are packages of fudge. Someone makes a joke about the year she gave out wrapped cans of chicken broth (to go with the homade tortellinis she had stored in teh freezer). Marianne sees me on the couch lokkes in teh bagf and starts rummaging under the tree. She resurfaces and i just shrug, because i don't want anyone to notice how upseet i am.
Fortunately, i had to leave to get to work. I'm pretty sure Marianne said something to my dad because it was brought up on the ride home, according to cait. I asked her what they said and she responded, "Not much."
Basler Xmas 2004= excellent food, funtimes, realization that my grandmother doesn't realize i exist. Yay, i'm a fucking grown up.
I enjoy time with my family because i am a product of my environment.
Fun times at my Aunt Ellen's house were overshadowed by my grandmother.
So, i am the oldest grandchild. My father has 5 brothers and sisters, resulting in 14 grandkids and one spoiled dog all together. My aunt Marianne passes out presents from my grandmother because she has been brought to the hospital against her will. Caitlin and i are sitting on the couch joking around about how we're too old to get gifts because our grandmother forgets our birthday's and such. Marianne tosses a card to Cait and she moves on to the next bag. Caitlin looks at me. My face drops. She open her card and in it is $20 and a christmas ornament with a picture of her in it taken the hospital after her birth. I couldn't believe my gadma had forgotten me again. I nearly lost it in the living room. I got up and ran into the bathroom and started sobbing uncontolably.
It's not that i didn't get a present. I couldn't care less about 20 bucks. THe ornament was cute, but unnecessary to my mental health. It was that i had been overlooked. I was the only one.
I go back to the living room after calming down, ask cait if i look ok and watch the little kids. Marianne is passing out the last of the gifts to the adults from my Grandma. They are packages of fudge. Someone makes a joke about the year she gave out wrapped cans of chicken broth (to go with the homade tortellinis she had stored in teh freezer). Marianne sees me on the couch lokkes in teh bagf and starts rummaging under the tree. She resurfaces and i just shrug, because i don't want anyone to notice how upseet i am.
Fortunately, i had to leave to get to work. I'm pretty sure Marianne said something to my dad because it was brought up on the ride home, according to cait. I asked her what they said and she responded, "Not much."
Basler Xmas 2004= excellent food, funtimes, realization that my grandmother doesn't realize i exist. Yay, i'm a fucking grown up.
17 December 2004
Technical Difficulties
So after much ado, my website is up, running and BEEEYOUTEEFUL!!!
Yesterday, I couldn't figure out why it wasn't uploading my webpage. So I call the help line and the guy puts me through my paces and finally tells me the problem is my internet connection. I bring the CD with my files on it to work and get permission from out store manager to use one of the computers in the office to upload my website which is a huge hoosiewho process. I get into the management website and it won't take my files. I was almost in tears. I went downstairs to smoke a butt and commiserate with my favorite person in the store, Erin from security.
I thought I was going to have to start from scratch to get the damn thing up. I foresaw a night full of coding and coffee. Instead of going straight home from work, I went over to sheena's to play for awhile (aka 4 in the morning).
I get the info line back on the phone today and the guy is like it must be the program, so on and so forth, and he walks me through stuff.
It turns out that I had to type /www in the directory address space.
48 hours of frustration leads to me feeling retarded.
Yesterday, I couldn't figure out why it wasn't uploading my webpage. So I call the help line and the guy puts me through my paces and finally tells me the problem is my internet connection. I bring the CD with my files on it to work and get permission from out store manager to use one of the computers in the office to upload my website which is a huge hoosiewho process. I get into the management website and it won't take my files. I was almost in tears. I went downstairs to smoke a butt and commiserate with my favorite person in the store, Erin from security.
I thought I was going to have to start from scratch to get the damn thing up. I foresaw a night full of coding and coffee. Instead of going straight home from work, I went over to sheena's to play for awhile (aka 4 in the morning).
I get the info line back on the phone today and the guy is like it must be the program, so on and so forth, and he walks me through stuff.
It turns out that I had to type /www in the directory address space.
48 hours of frustration leads to me feeling retarded.
07 December 2004
Two Sides of the Same Coin
I have, in fact, heard
that under pressing circumstances
for all the co-habitants
defying all natural
inclinations to stay with
familiarity,
a pea can change its pod.
It's rare, I'm told, but
of course, if we do
not mean actual
vegetables, instead refer
to the cliche of two
or more people who have
similarities
it is easy to do.
It's as simple as
saying why would I
want to be in a pod
with people who
although they aren't who
they seem, aren't content
with what I am
no longer being a pea
My best friend from high school always refered to his other best friend and i as two sides of the same coin. Now that we don't have to see eachother ever day we are. We're teh peas in the pod, even though we'd never admit it.
I came across some craziness when running through my greatest hits of blogging:
"I signed his year book and we took pictures and he systematically destroyed my self esteem right before we had a long discussion about valentines day stuffed animals and the pros and cons of hitting people with bricks."
it's rare you find someone with your exact same anger management issues.
that under pressing circumstances
for all the co-habitants
defying all natural
inclinations to stay with
familiarity,
a pea can change its pod.
It's rare, I'm told, but
of course, if we do
not mean actual
vegetables, instead refer
to the cliche of two
or more people who have
similarities
it is easy to do.
It's as simple as
saying why would I
want to be in a pod
with people who
although they aren't who
they seem, aren't content
with what I am
no longer being a pea
My best friend from high school always refered to his other best friend and i as two sides of the same coin. Now that we don't have to see eachother ever day we are. We're teh peas in the pod, even though we'd never admit it.
I came across some craziness when running through my greatest hits of blogging:
"I signed his year book and we took pictures and he systematically destroyed my self esteem right before we had a long discussion about valentines day stuffed animals and the pros and cons of hitting people with bricks."
it's rare you find someone with your exact same anger management issues.
My world is colliding.
About a week ago, my friend Tara, who i know from her saving my scarf and eating too much friendly's, split with her boyfriend. A few days later we went out to dinner with Matt Gangi and they started talking about Toy's R Us, a common workplace between them. They were talking about guys who still work their and Tara said, "I went out the other night with Greg P., Dan Macaroni, and Rob J."
I KNOW Rob J. I've known him for almost 9 years. Haven't seen him in 4. I get a call on Saturday afternoon telling me to leave work early to come hang out. So i spent a large quantity of the weekend with Rob, Tara, Dan "Tall Kid"M. and Greg.
Today I got ahold of this kid i used to know from camp and talked to him a little bit. And HE'S living in WILMINGTON!!!!!!!
wow. It's amazing how small my world is.
I KNOW Rob J. I've known him for almost 9 years. Haven't seen him in 4. I get a call on Saturday afternoon telling me to leave work early to come hang out. So i spent a large quantity of the weekend with Rob, Tara, Dan "Tall Kid"M. and Greg.
Today I got ahold of this kid i used to know from camp and talked to him a little bit. And HE'S living in WILMINGTON!!!!!!!
wow. It's amazing how small my world is.
29 November 2004
The Beginning
This is part of the experiment for ENG301.
Today's topic: the Poltergeist in my cell phone.
While I'm sure it is a less hostile ghost than in the movies, it still creeps me out a little to find my phone functioning strangely at even stranger hours. My alarm clock has been going off ever day at 5:30. I cannot for the life of me find where it was set to do so. It also doesn't play Thriller like my normal alarm clock does, it just beeps makes soft little un obtrusive beeps at me until I wake up to turn it off . It is really messing with my sleep patterns. Especially on Saturday mornings when the most sleep I get before 5:30 is an hour.
When I get a call, voicemail or textmessage, it usually lights up. Lately it's been lighting for no reason. It doesn't bother me except when I have my phone on silent at work and I'm waiting for someone to call or text me. It gets my hopes up. My phone Poltergeist is kind of mean come to think of it.
I'm going to look up some exorcism stuff.
Today's topic: the Poltergeist in my cell phone.
While I'm sure it is a less hostile ghost than in the movies, it still creeps me out a little to find my phone functioning strangely at even stranger hours. My alarm clock has been going off ever day at 5:30. I cannot for the life of me find where it was set to do so. It also doesn't play Thriller like my normal alarm clock does, it just beeps makes soft little un obtrusive beeps at me until I wake up to turn it off . It is really messing with my sleep patterns. Especially on Saturday mornings when the most sleep I get before 5:30 is an hour.
When I get a call, voicemail or textmessage, it usually lights up. Lately it's been lighting for no reason. It doesn't bother me except when I have my phone on silent at work and I'm waiting for someone to call or text me. It gets my hopes up. My phone Poltergeist is kind of mean come to think of it.
I'm going to look up some exorcism stuff.
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