The art of refusal

raspberry popsicles are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

While I'm generally against these, I love raspberry popsicles and it's nice to know they love me back. I wish I had one right now.

As is the trend, I am in a HEINOUS mood. It mostly has to do with the rain and the fact that my car in sitting in the parking lot of my internship. Dead. Because am have mental deficiencies and left my lights on most of the morning.

Also, I cannot find a lighter to save my soul.

On the bright side, Tara picked me up from my internship and eventually the battery in my car will no longer be dead and I won't be stabby anymore. This car episode makes us at least even from the couch moving episode. If not making me more indebted.

I have most of my nonsense for my Summer Job set. Craig is calling my references (Perry) and calling me back.

And now: The Seagull.

I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese's when I was younger. Yes, they put me in the suit. They put me in that suit ever chance they got. If I wasn't hosting a party, I was Chuck E. Prior to that, I was the mascot for my highschool football team.

I have experience in the suit.

So when my stepmom mentioned the Ferry Beach thing to me, she said, "Well, you could always tell Craig he should get a seagull suit and you could be the Ferry Beach Seagull."

I told Tara. It snowballed from there, but the general mental picture for this joke is me in a full size bird suit where you can see my face through the bill (feathers and all...like Big Bird) wandering around during dinner snatching food off people's plates going, "Are you done with those fires... TOO BAD. HANDLE IT--I'M A SEAGULL."


The next layer of funny: I'm TERRIFIED of birds. Especially seagulls.
But I would be phenomenal at it.

I also found out I was being internet stalked last week. It was an accident that I found it, but if you (and you know who you are)have gotten to this stage of internet stalker-ism), Don't use my pictures on your damned myspace profile. It isn't an artists rendering of you, it's a picture I like of me. If you want a copy where you still exist, ask. Then you can make your own rendering.

I lost my So Much for the Afterglow CD. I wanted to Listen to it yesterday (all I want to do is lose myself in your room, all I want is just a slow fuck in the afternoon) and it was missing. I mourned it until I realized my car was dead.

When she was good, she was very, very good...

I came home on Thursday because I had a cold all last week. They sent me home from my internship. I have no voice. I have coughed up 38% of my right lung. I was telling Tara (or my mom--I talk to both of them a lot) about how if I didn't feel better in the morning, I was going to doctor. I went to bed around 11:30.

At 1:30 I woke up. I felt like someone had stabbed me repeatedly in the abdomen. With a pool cue. O woke up my mom and after having to answer several really awkward questions in the most awkward way possible to my mom who was on the phone with the HMO healthline, I changed into jeans and we went to the ER.

For those playing along at home, this is my 4th visit to the ER in roughly two months. After nearly kicking my mom in the face in a spasm and giving the entire ER a show (I had my gown on wrong) the doctor came over, assessed me and ordered some tests.

Two pelvics, 1.5 liters of saline, and ultrasound, a lot of morphine and 6 hours later, I was on my way home... WIH A CYST THE WIDTH OF MY HAND on my ovary. Once again for the kids at home, an ovary is approximately the size of a WALNUT!

It was not pleasant when the Morphine wore of. There was screaming, kicking, crying and swearing. I nearly punched through the windshield of my mom's camry at a traffic light.

I honestly don't think I'm capable of having something as simple as a cold. My body just likes to send me a big "Fuck you" every once in a while.

Thanks, Body. Fuck you too.
pelvics, 1.5 liters of saline, and ultrasound, a lot of morphine and 6 hours later, I was on my way home... WIH A CYST THE WIDTH OF MY HAND on my ovary. Once again for the kids at home, an ovary is approzimately the size of a WALNUT!

It was not pleasant when the Morphine wore of. There was screaming, kicking, crying and swearing. I nearly punched throuh the windsheild of my mom's camry at a traic light.

I honestly don't think I'm capable of having something as simple as a cold. My body just likes to send me a big "Fuck you" every once in a while.

Thanks, Body. Fuck you too.

Beastly.

I am getting sick again. I can feel it. I hope it is just allergies and not a sneaky recurring bout of Strep.

However, if it is the latter, it's the second time I will have gotten sick from Scott.

Heretofore, I doubt I will be sharing beverages, or anything else that touches the mouth, with him. I vaguely remember him saying something about his uvula bothering him on Friday night.

And as for Friday? It was an assload of fun (like 2 grand worth). The best moment was the Ian/Johnny Exchange:

Johnny was drunk by approximately 10. Really drunk. He started to wrestle Tara, and she was losing, so I jumped in and then both of us were losing. I thought the skirmish was over, but in the living room, Johnny picked up Tara over his shoulders in some move I don't remember the name of and tossed her on the couch. Scott flipped out because he harbors notions of being her big brother. About 15 minutes later, just about everyone is in the kitchen and Johnny is going through a flagellation routine. He says, "Somebody just slap me in the face."

Ian walks through the entryway tot the kitchen, glass of wine in hand, and asks, "Well, can I hit you?" Johnny told him ok. Ian put his glass down on the table Turns back to Johnny, winds up and wails him in the face. Johnny fell off his chair from the force. Ian was an instant hit.

I had a "not my proudest moment" of Friday: I got jealous about a boy that doesn't matter and almost fought a girl I thought was chill. Like bottled fighting. It was not pretty. Aaron Shute was the only witness to the whole psycho episode. For a split second, I was the girl that I wonder where they come from. It was not a credit to my gender of mental stability.

I could go at any time...

This is not my beautiful house

Tara and I met some Character's at the bars last night.

I have never enjoyed Monty Python quotes so much in my life. Jimmie was amazing. I will be hanging out with him again.

There were 2 guys last night who got 2 out of 3 for the Erin Meets her Soulmate questions.

And now we're going out to see them again. This meeting people in bars thing is interesting.

The RHSC has officially been renamed "The Popemobile" thanks to Tara.

I do not, however, have bullet proof glass in my car, so no shooting at me.

Like a sinner before the gates of heaven....

My car died. MY car. so now i have a different car. It's an 87 Chevy Nova--light blue. That use to be owned by a priest. And until a week ago, it had an AM dial radio and no clock. NO CLOCK!!!

So, I've named it the redheaded Step Child, because i will never EVER love it as much as my car, which will always be my car.

Bonuses of the RHSC: I can fit in the trunk. It has a functioning CD player. It's clean. It runs. It does not feel like the wheel is going to fall off.

Cons of the RHSC: NO ARMRESTS! the fabric on the ceiling is coming down. I cannot nap in the back seat. It was owned by a man of god. JESUS originally paid for the car.

Everyone keeps going, "oh you got a new car," which garners them a glare and sometimes a kick.




I went for a walk with Aaron Shute last night. he made cinnamon buns and then we went to Matt's and played hold 'em. I pissed Matt off because I was betting weird and he folded a winning hand on a decent size pot. I told him i was just fucking with him, so he didn't take me very seriously after that. It doesn't matter, i was sitting next to the box with the chips in it any ways.



I have two automatic get in my pants triggers: boys who like Futurama more than Family Guy and straight men who can tap-dance, ala Gene Kelly. At lunch yesterday with Matt, Aaron, Ian, Roger and Emily, I asked Roger what he would do with the portion of his brain that is wasted on movie quotes. Aaron Shute said that we only use a small portion of our brains any ways, so it doesn't matter, which was the same answer Matt had given me previously. Roger's response was learn how to tap-dance.

I laughed a lot.

A WHOLE REAL lot.