Back in the saddle

It's been a really crappy month. I'm pretty sure everyone has the gist of it, so onto the wonderful.

DisneyWorld (The happiest place on Earth)
There aren't really any good ways to summarize in a way that is coherent and readable, so Tara and I went to Disney for vacation. We drank, danced, and went on rides. It was great.


Now my allegory on escalation.

We were in the pool Saturday night after going out to 8TRAXX on Pleasure Island. I was minding my own business for the first time in my life and floating around the pool when Scott came up and splashed me in the face. I splashed back. Splash war lasted a decent amount of time. Tara found a ball on the side of the pool (one of the Koosh water absorbent ones)and Scott was throwing it around and eventually whipped it at me. We threw the ball at eachother for some time until he whipped it at my head and hit me IN MY EYE. (actually in my eye, because I was dodging the ball and started to dive and it hit me higher than anticipated.) I crumpled in the water with my face covered screaming. When I came up he was coming over to make sure I was ok. Tara warned him to keep his distance. He didn't and I swung. He was just out of reach. Right before we got out of the pool, I saw him sidling over and said, "Scott, please get the fuck away from me." he didn't, even though I asked more than once. He put his arm around my shoulder and I a asked him again. He didn't comply so I bit him in the upper inner arm. I broke the skin. He put two fingers under my chin and pushed up as far as possible, saying I was lucky he didn't put his thumbs in my eyes.

The next day (drink around the world day at Epcot) he bought a samurai sword. There were some hits exchanged and now my knuckles are bruised.


So, you really could put an eye out by splashing and everything good and fun leaves marks.


and, Tara, you seem to have lost your apple.

Drunk dialing and the stages of anger

Until I was reminded by Kevin today, I had completely forgotten that we mapped out the Erin Stages of Anger in high school. We were having a discussion about my newest girly issue (and let me tell you: the are abounding as of late) and he asked if I had cried yet...

And I laughed hysterically because I completely forgotten about it.

The joke with my friends in highschool was that if they ever saw me crying, they were to run as fast as their adolescent feet could carry them and dive into a bathtub to avoid the explosion and hope that the light above them didn't cut them when it fell (I watched the rock last night). Assuming you haven't known me very long, chances are you haven't seen it get that far. For your safety:

1.annoyance
2.sarcastic bitchiness
3.irritation
4.pissed off
5.fury
6.shock
7.incredulity
8.frustration
9.tears
10. goes either way: hostile physical reaction (hitting, screaming, biting) or complete despondency.

I haven't been that angry enough to know which one I prefer. I think the hitting is better because it's a short burst and gets it all out of my system. The despondency lives on for days, and a couple of times it lasted a few weeks.


Also, someone was telling me how they ought to put breathalizers on cell phones (they may have been relating the work of a stand-up comic). THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH MY FRIENDS! No matter who is the most sober, we always end up allowing at least 4 drunken phone calls to happen. It's like, "Hey, can I have my phone?" "Why?" "I want to call ______." "NO!!!" "I mean I want to check my messages..." "Oh, ok."

FunkMaster Flex says, "DON'T (dddon't don't) DO IT (bbbbbbbbaabyyy baby)"

apples to apples

Saturday was a mess. A good fun mess, but a mess nonetheless. Crazy friends. crazy booze. crazy Game. Just plain crazy.

I won't overshare though, because my readership consists soley of Tara, who was there, and my Dad, who doesn't wan tto know, i'm sure.

but it was crazy.

MY DAD IS GREAT!!!

happy now?

The week has not gotten better. It's hitting a plateau. Last night was heinous weather and it took eternity to get to Tara's house. I was late for lunch with Jay, but we went and it was good. I offended an old man for sport.

I'm excited for Saturday, the Apples to Apples tourney. Paul will be there, as will good Ian and possibly Jay. There won't be any Aaron Shute, but he'll hopefully be getting former love of life tail. And if all goes according to plan, Scott will be the only one (to the best of my knowledge) who hasn't.

Vega and I took a nap today, but you have no idea how difficult it is to sleep on a couch with a pug. They are a) the most inconsiderate small animals, space wise, b) twitch a lot in their sleep, and c) are physically constructed to snore louder than Leatherface's Chainsaw. But she was warm and snuggly, so I guess it will be ok once the rash goes away. (I'm allergic to dogs).

I need another nap.

Bulletin:

If this week does not stop sucking by tomorrow, I'm giving up.


I'm not exactly sure what constitutes giving up, but I will be celebrating either my continual plugging away or my surrender on Saturday. Paul may be there.